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Joke Of The Day

Q : Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.

 

 

Two Liners | Jokes | Marriage Jokes | Funny Shayari | Vinod

Mumbaiya Lingo | Toungue Twisters

25 things that prove you're a Mumbayite......
1. You think Chowpatty & Juhu beaches as "nature."
2. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
3. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
4. Your door has more than three locks.
5. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
6. Train timings (9.27, 6.49 etc) are really important events of life.
7. You spend more time each month travelling than you spend at home.
8. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
9. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
10. You have the following sets of friends: schoolfriends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, TRAIN friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
11. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road ......
12. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
13. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
14. You take fashion seriously.
15. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
16. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
17. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
18. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
19. You insist on calling Mumbai as Bombay, CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
20. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
21. Your idea of personal space is when no one is actually standing on your toes.
22. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
23. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it 'romantic'.
24. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
25. You call traffic policemen as'Pandus" and expect out-of-towners to understand that.

Binglish (for Bombay_English). /. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)
This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.

¤  Bhidu buddy, mate
¤  Yeda dim-witted
¤  Jhakaas super, superb
¤  Shaana  over smart
¤  Mamu bloke, hey man
¤  Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.
¤  Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.
    Chikni is the female version of the same word.
¤  Bus kya : The meaning of it is that com'on don't take me for granted.
¤  Apun : It's actual meaning is WE but in Bhindi it means I or  me...
¤  Chava / Chavi - Actual meaning of a chava is a lion's cub.However, in
    Bhindi it would mean a Boyfriend/GirlFriend (normally the one that's
    steady). Chava, is also used to describe to a good looking chap or the
    normal stud in the locality. No, Chavi would still mean the steady one.
¤  Saala : literal meaning wife's brother....but in Mumbai it is used in  every context..
    when friends meet and greet then it is kya saala kaisa hai.....when angry "abey
     saale....phoot na"... in fact this is the most common used word in mumbai.... and
     can be used when you are happy / sad /  depressed / angry / shy and when there
     is nothing else to say then use a saala....
¤  Atrangi - One meaning of this word is similar to Hajaam. Atrangi also
mean something extraordinary.
¤  Shana :literal meaning in marathi means wise..but mostly used in
sarcastic way like "tu kya shana hai kya ??"
¤  Dhid shana : The word dhid means 1 and half times the original one. that means
   1 and half times shana.
¤  Dum : Actual meaning is cigarette with marijuana for kick. but nowdays
   commonly used to refer ordinary cigarette..
¤  Bindaas super cool
¤  Vaat lag gayi in serious trouble
¤  Charsi / Fookya / Soootya - A smoker. Charas is exactly marijuana.  Charasi would mean any guy who smokes though.
¤  Tapri - A road side shop.
¤  Baida : An egg
¤  Keeda - An absolute pest.
¤  Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.
¤  Chaayla - The original meaning is quiet demeaning. The contemporary meaning is so flexible that "Chaayla" can be used anywhere in a casual conversation. speaking this word doesnt have any meaning.
¤  Haila ! - This originated from "Hai Allah !" but I don't think 99% of the users
    know about this. Haila would translate to "Oh God!"
¤  Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most
    commonly used words in Bhindi.
¤  Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.
¤  Saand / Bhai - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.
¤  Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. 
¤  Cutting - A little_morethan_half cup of Tea is a cutting. The Cutting concept would have been started by people who used to split a cup of tea between 2 people... and finally the tea vendor started selling half cup of tea and called it "cutting". A little_more_than_half is given to increase the patrons.
¤  Dhapnya / Battery / double battery - Refers to a person wearing prescription glasses. Dhapnya is a Marathi word. The Ghati way of saying this would be "bya-tree".
Sodawater : 
¤  Hajaam - Hajaam in its true sense would mean a barber. It refers to anyone with a moronic intellect.
¤  Rappak(stress on"pp") - means Slap.(eg.Kaan kay neechay rappak lagaoonga.)
¤  Chinese Gaadi - No ! this is not a Chinese make of an automobile!! It's the "Tapri" selling Chinese food on the side of the road. The best part is that all these Chinese Gaadis are red in color, have names like "Red Sun", "Red Dragon", "Fong's", or anything that sounds vaguely Chinese. The cook is normally a Nepali gurkha working as a night watchman in some nearby apartment complex. The only criteria to get a chef's job at a Chinese Gaadi is to have slanted eyes.
¤  Ghungroo Salmaan - This term is very new but catching on fast. Ghungroo refers to a curly haired guy. Salmaan (Khan) comes in the picture since the "Ghunroo Salmaan" fellow is obviously mistaking himself to be a Hindi film hero. It's used as a put-down.
Hatela : stupid brainless dim-witted or crazy
Bambaiyya - Anything that relates to anything that even vaugely relates to Bombay. Bambaiyaa is something that every resident of Bombay would love to be called !
Zappi : bear hug to a helpless person to support him emotionally
Fut lena/ Kalti marna : Run away / escape from sickening condition
Khallas-means finished
Ishtyle- Style
Thok dena / dho dena- beat up " Saale ko thoko!"  
patli gali se nikal: to scram!...literally to run in between the narrow street...
sadela : rotten / boring / 
Aysaych- imilar to just like that in English. How unoo asaych hai, s

These are extracts from mails of my friends and not my own.

 

 

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